how to make friends and influence people

Almost all these wants are usually gratified – all except one: the desire to be important. The only way to get a person to do anything is by giving them what they want. Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”Īnyone can criticize, condemn and complain. “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.

People learn faster and retain knowledge more effectively when rewarded for good behavior than punished for bad behavior. And it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment. It puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Most people don’t criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.Ĭriticism is futile and dangerous. Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise’ Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.Begin with praise and honest appreciation.Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desiresīe a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offence or Arousing Resentment.Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.Get the other person saying ‘yes, yes’ immediately.If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.Show respect for the other person’s opinions.The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.Encourage others to talk about themselves Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.Become genuinely interested in other people.

How to make friends and influence people